If you are a military spouse, then you are all too familiar with the crazy that is the PCS…..If you are not, then please allow me to explain. The PCS is an acronym for the words Permanent Change of Station…the military just loves a good acronym. Depending on branch of service and job description the PCS usually occurs every three years.
When my husband gets reassigned, I, as the military spouse, also get reassigned along with my children and my dog. We have very few options……we must go with him, because he is what is known as our “sponsor” and also we love him and want to be with him. Every move is different, and even though I get better at it, it never gets easier.

For me, the process breaks down into down into 10 stages:

Stage 1 The List: The soldier gets The List of suitable jobs / locations that are available. As a couple you spend hours days weeks pouring over each choice; multiple times referring to Google, Zillow and greatschools.org in order to rank these possibilities in order of preference. Mentally it is labour intensive, but it is exciting…..there is so much potential, the world is your oyster! Then he sends it back and we wait and simply hope for the best.

Stage 2 The Assignment: Some time later we receive the new assignment. Maybe it was our no.1  choice…Hello Italy! Or it may be our 34th choice….Hello Korea! Or it may not have been on the list at all….Hello Kansas!  Either way we are given a report date and have some time to get excited ….or to get over the disappointment and to start getting used to the idea of the big move.

Stage 3 The RFO: Nothing and I mean NOTHING can be accomplished in the Military without orders.   But in the Army you first need to receive a Request For Orders {The RFO} Once you get it,then you and your calendar become inseparable.  Everything hinges on the report date that has been issued to the soldier. Once that is established, you work back from that date…….there is much to be done, especially if this is an overseas move. Appointments need to be made, hotels {that take dogs} need to be booked, flights {that allow dogs} need to be arranged.  Paperwork needs to be done….lots and lots of paperwork.

Stage 3 The Orders: This is pretty much the same as above, but now it is official.  Lots to do….lots to do.

Stage 5 The Purge: The military, those guys will weigh everything you own, which means you have to be selective with your belongings.  You need to figure out what you really need in your home, and then you basically sell or throw all your stuff away. It is so wasteful, but we all do it!

Stage 6 The Exodus: If you live in a community with a heavy military population and it is high PCS season, then you know what I mean.  Everyone leaves.  The street is full of moving trucks.  It is hard to say goodbye to your friends and neighbors.  But you put on a brave face and wish them all well.  The time for you to leave is looming too. It is a strange juxtaposition of emotions….both sadness and happiness.

Stage 7 Packing: The clothes have been sorted and packed into cases.  Medical and school records are in a safe place. You have figured out what you will need for the next few months….you have no idea how long it will take for the HHGs {House Hold Goods} to get to their new location. Then you welcome complete strangers into your home and allow them to riffle through all your worldly goods and treasures.  You have to trust them to treat your belongings with the same care that you would, but they never do. My only advice is to let it go.  Let them do their job and buy them lunch.  We have been robbed, we have had lots of damages, we have had furniture dismantled and all the hardware lost.  You live and you learn, then you get on with it…it is just ‘stuff’.

Stage 8 The Transitional Stage:  After everything we own has been put on display on the sidewalk and then forced to fit into crates perched upon a truck.  They are sealed up and head out on their merry journey. We move out of our home and into a hotel.  We are officially homeless.  The soldier has to clear from his current job and base. Then we set off to the new location, sometimes we drive, sometimes we fly.  Either way we are discombobulated, living out of suitcases and generally getting under each others feet in a tiny hotel room .  The upside is: having no home to clean or kitchen in which to cook!!!.  I like to use this time to eat out and relax after the mayhem of moving out and before the mayhem of moving in.

Stage 9 The Arrival: The new location….take a moment and breath. Tomorrow you will hit the ground running. The kids need to be registered for school, for sports and the new doctor; the husband starts in processing immediately and you need to find a new home. All of this without a car! This can take days, weeks or months. In our case we moved overseas, which meant there were language barriers and cultural differences. Who knew that everything in Italy closes for the month of August??? We found our house quickly but were still in the hotel for 2 full months. And remember all the stuff we purged in stage 5…..well, we get to go shopping and spend hundreds of dollars to replace it all!

Stage 10 Remember Me?: Everything is different in a new place.  The dynamics completely change wherever you go.  This is our 4th overseas move and it is completely different to the other 3. The food is different the shops are different….Please don’t get me wrong, I love different, but sometimes different is exhausting.  And this time I was exhausted.  This is where I got stuck, for 3 months! I lost myself in the mayhem….I was so busy putting the new house together and getting children where they needed to be that I did not do much for myself.  I am working on it slowly…..I found a hairdresser and took a watercolor and Italian class. I still need to get back into the gym and get myself on a schedule….but hey, that is what the new year is for, right?  You literally have to put yourself out there every time you move. You have to join clubs, take classes, find a church.  This is how we find our new friends, the people to help us through this crazy life.  I know that I am truly lucky to live the way I do.  Some people understand our lifestyle, while some others do not…..But for me and my family, this is how our life has always been and this is what works.

No matter where the Army sends us….we make it our home.  The thing is, that when you “Permanently Change Stations”, there is actually nothing permanent about it.  We know we will be moving again in 3 years. But Italy sure looks like a great place to spend that 3 years!

I decided I would share how the whole process of the how the PCS usually goes for us. Bare in mind the process may vary slightly depending on branch of service etc. I write as an Army spouse, but I know other branches work similarly but not exactly the same.

If you are PCSing anytime soon….best of luck!

Thanks or reading

♥ Criona